Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
