my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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