And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Watching her eat just hurts me
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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