i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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