I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
