she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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