Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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