Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
