the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
