how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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