i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You can't motorboat a personality
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
