I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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