hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
