Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
