Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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