i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We had sex on a dog bed..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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