So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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