Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
