The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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