I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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