the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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