bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
