That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
