I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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