Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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