seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
