Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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