If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Say something about gay babies.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
