Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
