She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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