I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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