I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
