I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
