Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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