i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
