her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
