last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
