i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
