I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
