Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
