toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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