It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
