Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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