I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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