dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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