Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
