Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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