LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
