I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
