Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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